This one is to the tune of Away in a Manger…
Away to a big Tesco, Christmas songs in my head,
No more making excuses, if we want to get fed…
The voice over the tannoy tells of offers on beer,
You’d think all the shops were to close for a year.
The aisles they are a-heaving, and the customers are vile,
But locating the sherry makes it almost worthwhile.
I hate you fellow shoppers, you’d do well to stay out of my way,
Do not heed my words and you may well rue the day…
My shin rammed with your trolley, as you grab for brandy butter,
Leaning over me rudely, no ‘excuse me’ you utter,
Please take a little time out, and consider how you’ll feel,
When your family all blame you for ruining the big meal…
I shall move with precision and alacrity and stealth,
Your cranberry sauce will end up back on the shelf!